Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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