Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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