Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
