I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
