I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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