you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
