So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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