he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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