we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
