We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
