Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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