Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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