Where did you get a picture of my penis
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
