Duck Duck Cougar?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
