butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Soap is not a condiment
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
