I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
