dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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