Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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