people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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