A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
look no pants
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
