Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
