then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
And then my night got REAL pukey
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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