What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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