I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
