Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
