Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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