So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
