Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Can Purell be used as lube?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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