You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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