I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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