hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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