can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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