Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
birth control should be required to get into college
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
