She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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