New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
