I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
