It's just like the Real World with babies
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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