my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
