My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
