Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
its liver damage thursday
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
