so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Is Oprah even human
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
