i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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