i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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