I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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