mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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