She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
