Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
