I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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