Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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