Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
